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THE WEE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING

Rule of thumb: Never excite a dog who has to pee

Having a puppy is wonderful. Lots of fun. Never a dull moment, They're absolutely adorable. But before you opt for a young whippersnapper, you might want to take certain things into consideration, such as the inordinate amount of times a puppy has to pee and poop.
Try to sleep when a dog is awake. It's a fantasy. They simply won't allow it. So up you go. Out into the cold, dark night. Hoping he will get the idea really fast.

Just like a newborn baby, a young pup has limited bodily fluid retention powers. Which means, that he can only hold his pee pee in for a short time. And which also means, just like a newborn baby, you can kiss your sweet sleep goodbye. You are on potty patrol 24/7 without relief.
Dudley was eight months old when we got him, so we could sleep practically through the night. But Farley, God bless his little active bladder, who was only four months, needed to go all the time. And no sooner than we dosed off, his wet nose and tongue would sweep across my arm, or whatever body part was available to him.
The rustling started around 2 PM. Then the whimpering.
Of course, as with newborn babies, the father never hears him. On the other hand, we women snap out of our serene slumber, when we hear a leaf fall from a house plant.
"I think Farley has to go out," I tell my husband who is snoring up a storm.
"What, what?" he yelps bolting out of a dead sleep.
"Farley is making all kinds of noise. I think he has to do his business."
And so my drowsy, my disgruntled, drowsy husband, who is anything but cheerful, mutters a few choice curse words and stumbles out of the house with this tiny little poopy, pissy doggy and heads for our yard, where he will hopefully witness him emptying his bladder and colon.
Compounding the situation, we have a two-family house, and reside on the top floor. Which means, we have to walk around the entire house to go out to the yard, hoping that his urge will return. This took anywhere from five minutes to an hour, rendering him wide-awake and playful when he came in (not my husband, the dog). And waking Dudley in the process, which meant he now had to pee as well.
Rule of thumb, if they're three months old, they can only hold their water for three hours. If they're four months old, four hours. And so on.
By week two, we've both developed dark circles and a chronic frown mark.
"Did he go?" becomes the only words me and my husband exchange.
"Yep! In the hallway." He tells me.
So, just to be on the safe side, we awaken every two hours and take him out. And finally he goes and I offer him all kinds of praise. (My husband thinks it's for him.I let him think it) Then I wonder, is it him you're training? Or you and your husband?
Another correlation between a dog and a kid, is that once he's awake, so must you be. He comes bounding in like a charging rhino and licks your face, as if to say, "C'mon, let's have some fun."

It is at this very moment, you realize your snooze time is over and done with. They want you up. It's playtime. Hooray!
Making it doubly frustrating is the elimination of Daylight Savings Time. They couldn't care less about us turning the clocks back. (There are no clocks in the canine world) To them, the sun is in the same position. The birds are chirping and they're hungry, which means it's time to rise and shine. Even though it's an hour earlier, you're lying like a dead toad and cannot voluntarily open your eyes.One good thing, we never have to set our alarm. We can rely on them waking us up precisely seven o'clock each and every morning. Six in the late fall.
Yippee!

Learn more about this author, Marie Tomas.
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