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How drinking and driving affected the crash victim is that she died at the scene. She was also the drunk driver. I found out about it when two police officers knocked at my door at 3:00am ten years ago last month. She was my ex-wife-to-be.

It happened on the first night of spring during an unusual last minute snow storm for the year. It came out of now where. All the snow had already melted. It was the final storm of the year.

She was staying at a friend's for the weekend. The friend, her husband, and herself had been drinking all day. The friend's young son was demanding to go stay overnight at his friend's house a quarter mile up the road. My ex-to-be decided to drive him.

She pulled out on the highway, drifted across the line in the blinding snow, and was hit head on by an SUV. The friend's son was alright, just bruises and a broken arm. She died shortly after at the scene. I know it was not intentional because she loved the boy like her own.

I say ex-to-be because after twenty-seven years of marriage, our lives in a long time rut and living basically separate lives under one roof, I had asked for a divorce. We had no children.

During the divorce proceedings, instead of ending up as a divorced male, I became a widower. Instead of having to pay alimony, I ended up with a small survivor's pension for life. Talk about an unusual turn of events.

It was a very difficult situation. I was giving her an opportunity to go out and enjoy the rest of her life, instead of wasting it away the way we were. I don't think she disliked the idea because she did not put up a fuss. She asked once if I was sure, I replied Yes" and that was it.

When they hear about it, people always feel bad and offer condolences. But I was not grieved, I was mad at her. I was mad at her for throwing away her life, her future happiness. Afterward I realized that she was drinking more than I knew. It was a past time people often fall into in smaller communities with nothing much to do.

The first couple of years after her death, I had periodic strange things happen, noises and things moving in the house and such. While I do not necessarily believe in ghosts, I do not disbelieve in them either. I firmly believe it was her.

With time the incidents died down. It was not until the tenth anniversary last month that I made my peace with her. To this day, I feel someone touch me, not often but once in a while, on the leg, arm, or head.

It is just a gentle touch.

The last memory I have of her being friendly to me is when I had fallen asleep in my chair, during the divorce. We were staying under the same roof until resolved for financial reasons. I was awakened by her walking by and gently stroking the top of my head in passing. Not a word was spoken.

I know it is her.

Learn more about this author, John Peter Davis.
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