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From the beginning of my memory in elementary school self-esteem was a topic often discussed in my classes. This came mainly in the health curriculum, but always garnering a lot of attention as a piece of the developmental structure of each child.

Why is this important? Why would educators spend so much time caring about little Johnny or Miss Susie's opinion of themselves? Because this will determine their amount of success as they continue through their lives. It will affect their willingness to try new things, to take hard classes, to spread their wings beyond the mainstream to achieve more.

No one can create a self-concept for you. It is a result of your life experiences, personality, home environment and other factors. Each of us is born with an opinion of ourselves, although we may not become conscious of this opinion until we reach elementary school ages. This is probably why educators believe this is the correct time to begin shaping the self concept.

Being a parent, I try to be aware of the feelings my children have relating to self-concept. Of course you won't normally approach a child and say: Okay son, let's spend an hour or so reviewing the concept you have of yourself and what we can do to improve that." Your kid would think it was time to purchase some very long term care insurance for you.

Of course self concept is not reserved solely for children or teens. Adults struggle with self-concept throughout their lives. The inputs are tremendously different, as they are for teens and younger adults. For your teen self-concept is affected by puberty, the desire to be attractive to the opposite sex, differences in physical development and just hormonal experiences.

For adults, work experiences build even more drama into the equation. More and more people have roles to play in our evolution. Marriage as well as children can provide positive or negative influences to this personal development. Self concept is a continually evolving thing that is affected every day.

Tell me if you went looking for a spouse with a high self concept? No, you wanted someone that could be successful, confident in themselves, able to be independent when necessary and without problems functioning in the world. What is the key to these attributes: you guessed it: high self concept.

This doesn't mean that there is no upper boundary to self-concept. If it is too high the person can come off arrogant, which is unpleasant for all unfortunate enough to be in their way. How do we guard against this? Reflect on the relationships you have with others. Do people want to be around or work with you? Do they feel you have a selfish, me first attitude? If so, take stock of just how special you believe you are.

The importance of self concept may be overstated in some arenas, but really it is critical to the success and happiness of each person. Only when you are confident will you step away from the crowd to do the new, the exciting, and the unexpected that translates to applause and recognition.

Learn more about this author, Joe Owens.
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