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THE ANNIVERSARY PRESANT FROM HELL
HAPPY ANNIVERSSARY SPEND IT IN THE WOODS WITH ME

When it comes to romance my husband is in a class of his own It was our first anniversary. My husband came home from work all excited. He announced we would be going away for our anniversary, and everything was already taken care of. All I had to do was let him handle everything.

I too became excited as I asked a million questions about where we were going. My husband wouldn't tell me anything. He just kept saying, "You'll see."

He did give me one little hint He said we would be one with nature.. I didn't exactly understand what he meant, but something told me I should be leery.

The big day arrived and still our destination was a mystery, that is, until he lovingly took me by the hand and led me to the car. Beaming from ear to ear my husband opened the trunk and had me look in. My eyes searched the trunk several times looking for a wonderful present, but all I saw was a pile of old faded green canvas. Still not understanding what my husband was trying to show me, I looked at him and asked, "What?"

Patiently, but still smilling from ear to ear my husband lifted the canvas and said, "This."
"What is this?" I asked puzzled.

"A guy at work lent me a tent and two sleeping bags. We're going camping. It's going to be a wonderful anniversary."

As I said, this was our first anniversary. We had only been married three hundred and sixty five days, so that is the only excuse I can give for going against my better judgement, which was to run for my life.

Away we drove to God's little acre, our only protection against the elements a tent and two sleeping bags. When I asked what we would be eating, my husband proudly answered "We will catch our food and eat off the land."

Out of fear of starvation I talked my husband into stopping at a store so I could buy some food, just in case. When I returned to the car with my survivial bag my husband tossed it into the back seat, and still full of confidence said, "We don't need store bought food."

On and on we drove, leaving behind the civilization I knew and loved.

Finally, after driving mile after mile of deserted roads, surrounded on all sides by woods, we stopped.

Now the real torture began.

Arms loaded with smelly old canvas, fishing poles, a tackle box, and my survival bag of food, we left the protection of the car and walked deep into the woods. Several times along the way my husband stopped and sniffed the air. Now really annoyed, I asked what he thought he

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