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When I think of all the hours, days, months and years when I believed that my personal happiness and fulfillment depended upon something out there somewhere, just out of reach over the horizon, I re-live the frustration and sadness of that time when I didn't know any better.

I fooled myself time and time again into believing the grass was greener somewhere else, or with somebody else, all the time ignoring, or at the very least minimizing, the abundant blessings right on my doorstep. The party was always livelier, the lights a little brighter, the sun a little warmer - somewhere else, and someone else always had the lucky breaks, but never me. If only I could have what others seemed to achieve so effortlessly. The simple truth is I was buying into an illusion.

Having aims and goals in life is what keeps our hopes and dreams alive, but there is a big difference between having vision and aspirations, and permanently postponing happiness and joy, whilst peering longingly into the future.

I have spent copious amounts of time and energy trying to figure out how to get what I firmly believed I wanted, or copy those who I thought had it just right. I have experienced jealousy, resentment, blame, regret, and a host of other negative emotions. Not one of them helped me to feel good about myself and my life. Thank God, I have become aware of the flawed nature of my belief system, and today I know that the here and now is all I have and need, and all that matters.

The thing is I cannot live anyone else's life; I don't feel their feelings, dream their dreams or grieve their losses. Their life is right for them my life is right for me. To compare myself with others, or believe there is always somewhere better than here sets me up for disappointments, frustrations and heartache; it pours cold water on the blessings of today and creates a life where contentment and satisfaction are permanently on hold.

Another way I looked at "the grass is always greener" is with the "when I, then I" mode of thinking. It was so tempting and easy to believe that once I got past this set of circumstances, or solved this problem, then everything would be fine and dandy. When I got a better job, then I would be able to have a bigger home, more exotic holidays, trendier hair stylist, so the list goes on. When I found someone who truly loved me, then my life would be complete. Or so I thought. I stood on tiptoes trying to see over today and into a blissful set of tomorrows that never arrived.

I have

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