I remember mealtimes with the family when I was younger. My mother would cook up a big spaghetti dinner and we would all sit around the table together, taking time to discuss our lives and especially politics. Many people say you shouldn't discuss politics at meals, and they have a point! Sometimes we got so excited we left the table without finishing our meal! Sometimes we became very impatient and didn't want to stay at the table at all. But no one could leave until my father said the meal was over. This was a traditional family.

Nowadays my teenage children and I usually cook together, then we eat while watching tv news or political satire. I have to say I prefer this, because I'm a very slow eater. We eat one course at a time, over two or three hours. Meanwhile, we discuss what we are watching, and enjoy the transition from evening news to satire to musical entertainment or films. It's a relaxing way to end a busy day.

Of course when guests come to dinner we eat at the table.

Usually young people are in a rush to talk to their friends or return to their own room and their own interests (music, clothes, video-games, etc.). Parents somehow become less interesting to them as they get older. We have to make more effort to find some common ground. I use television or a film to engage their attention and then we discuss what we are watching. As a result my children know a lot about what's going on in the world. They have a good sense of geography and can discuss complex issues with adults.

It's important for people to find common ground. And in all fairness to children, this should include THEIR common ground - not just what the parents choose for them. It's a treat to me when we eat guacamole with chips - it's a treat to my son to eat pizza. We take turns.

My mother's favorite family meal was on Sunday mornings, when she would get up early to make pancakes, omelet, sausage, fresh juice and toast. This was very impressive and delicious, but also very annoying because she wanted us at the table EARLY - sometimes even 7:30 a.m. To me Sunday should be a day of rest. Ideally I'd like to be cosily reading my New York Times in bed.

Most of all, I like to take time to do things in an unhurried fashion and without the pressure of doing everything "the right way."

Learn more about this author, Norma Jean Bishop.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Mealtime with the family?
We want to hear your view. Write now!