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Friendship Advice

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Can men and women be "just friends"?

In a time where a relationship's have become subject to all sorts of media attention, be it in films, stars in the papers being hounded by the paparazzi, to a school child crush. The hypothesis is subject to many interpretations.

When you are a child, it does not matter what sex you are, friendships abound forming life long friendships. As we get older especially today, it seems that as soon as two mature, sorry fertile people get together they have to have sex, it seems almost pre-ordained. You cannot watch a film these days without the two star characters ending up doing it somewhere. It is this psychological hypnotic indoctrination implanted to our automatic feelings that colours the concept of men and women being just friends.

Depending on your experiences, this will be the formation of your actions in a given situation and your answers when considering the possibilities of such an arrangement.

Many really do feel that in many cases a man woman relationship is just that and has no room for any other friendship be it from the man or the woman as the facts stack. It is to dangerous and is a spur for argument or a sounding board for separating and consequently divorce in today's society. This is the predominant factor in most peoples reckoning.

That said, I have found on my travels and personal experience that it is a healthy relationship if it happens. I have two women friends, and very close. We may not see one another from one end of the year to the next, but that friendship is always there. We have all had our individual partners and their partners have been equally good friends and accepting of myself and my partner and vice versa. Unfortunately all three of us have lost our partners to illness. It was at these times that our deep friendship played its part in support during each period of personal grief.

There have been times when we have all lived closely together and has been tremendous when one or the other has had problems like plumbing, car broken down, some building repairs to be done. We each with our different skills have been there to help out, or combine to see a project through, and the all the kids have mixed well creating future friendships.

There is no substitute for the friendship which cannot be related in words other than if either one of us was to pass on, it would be like loosing a right hand.

So yes! It is possible for men and women to be "Just Friends." It is dependant upon as I said earlier how you are going to look at it and your own experiences. If negative inflections come to the fore, then you have just lost the friendship and ruined probably the best times and moments you could have had in your life through your own or the other parties selfishness.

Learn more about this author, Paul Bovis.
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