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Dealing with family gossip can be hurtful, degrading, sad, discriminating, ruin a family relationship for life, rip a family apart, destroy the loyalty within a family, reap severe consequences, and cause wars like the Hatfield's and McCoy's. Gossiping is a dangerous problem when it is in any family. We should think before we say anything about any family member or anyone for that matter. A lot of people naturally carry their feelings on their shoulders and the lest thing can set them off and ignite a fire that will last a lifetime.

Gossip is a constant in a lot of families and much of what is said about the person they're gossiping about is speculation instead of truth. Each person views different subjects in a completely different manner. It is best never to talk or tell-tale anything about a family member to another family member or relative. What you carry to another, you may think you're confiding it in a secretive manner but...it will be repeated. Once it makes its circles through the family and outsiders, the person who was talked about will always hear what was said, and yes, who said it, and there will have been lots more added to the situation than was initially said.

When we open our mouths to talk about anyone, we are opening Pandora's box, and we are going to hurt someone's feelings and they may never forgive us. A lot of people can for instance see a family member talking to an opposite sex person and it will be only a neighbor or a co-worker they've run into and as soon as the person who saw them gets home they phone their families, and say, "Guess what...I saw Jane down at the grocery store, behind one of the counters, talking to a member of the opposite sex and they were laughing and having a gay ole time. What do you think about that? Do you think we should tell our brother/sister? This is the same thing as stabbing someone in the center of their back. They may be married to a severely jealous man/women and this could start a never forgiving fight between the two people and they may end up in divorce by only talking to a friend.

Gossip is dangerous in any family and it should be avoid at every level. Never tell people anything they can take out of context and blow it up into dangerous gossip. I've found in my long life that it's best to say only nice things about people and you'll never get into any problems over gossip. I'm an outspoken person, and if I have something to say, it certainly won't be to someone else, it will be to the person I have a problem with.

In our family we have several who loves to constantly get on the phone and stir up problems about every situation you can think of and they keep a spat going on in the family all the time. I've grown to know these people, who are gossip mongers, and when they try to tell me something about a family member, I tell them I'm not interested in hearing any gossip about the person and could we please move on to something else. Let me let you in on a "secret," they hang up real soon and don't call for a long while.

Gossip in families...destroys families and one should always think before speaking or they could lose a family member for life.

Learn more about this author, Barbara Kasey Smith.
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