by Jared Garrett

Created on: April 02, 2008

Is shyness really all that bad? Doesn't it just mean a person's a little quiet? That they're just an introvert?

Yes and no. For some people, shyness is a challenge that they can overcome as they mature and find themselves in various social situations. However, for others, shyness can be a real problem, getting in the way of their normal interaction and development.

So how do we cure shyness and other social fears? The issue, unfortunately, is not as simple as curing a cold or even malaria. You can't take medicine and then go about your day. Overcoming shyness, instead, can often be a long, drawn out process that is even painful. Nonetheless, there are a few things that shy people can do to try to take some steps toward a regular social demeanor.

*Form a support system.
Granted, it can be something of a challenge to develop a good support system if you're already shy, but often we have a support system in place without realizing it. This network of supportive folks starts with our immediate family and can even stretch to extended relations.

Family members can then help the shy person become acquainted with those outside of the immediate social circle. These new members of the support system might be in-laws or work or even hobby acquaintances.

With a support system in place, the shy person will need to make an effort to utilize this resource. This means that they will have to initiate contact and activities regularly. This must be done regularly, and can even be a repetitive event on the calendar, because repeated exposure to social situations with 'safe' people will help the shy person begin to step out of their shell.

*Get a hobby.
Hobbies can be the not only a productive way to spend one's down time, but they can also help shy people expand their circles. At the hobby store, the shy person can try hard to talk to the clerk. They could also try to find other people who are interested in the same hobby.

Again, it will be difficult to make these efforts to talk to others. However, bit by bit, the shy person will find himself making progress.

*Affirmations.
Sure, this might remind you of a comedic sketch, but a daily affirmation has been shown to be beneficial to a person's self image. So a shy person might try repeating a mantra each morning and night: "I am not afraid. I don't fear people. I can hold a conversation. I am smart and happy." Of course you can make up your own mantra based on what you prefer.

*Exercise regularly.
Does this surprise you? Think about it and you'll see the truth of this tip. When we exercise regularly, we find ourselves filled with energy and gaining a better self-image. As our self-confidence increases, we feel more comfortable talking to people.

If the shy person can afford it, they should join a gym. While at the beginning they might be self conscious about using unfamiliar machines, after a few times, they will become more at ease. When you can sweat, breathe hard and grunt in effort in a gym, social shyness becomes a smaller problem.

What these tips come down to is that curing shyness and other social fears will need to be something the shy person does proactively. In order to truly change ourselves and reprogram our behavior, diligence and daily practice is necessary.

As a final note, these tips won't work for everyone. Some people are debilitatingly shy, and these folks should consider the benefits they would reap from talking to a therapist of some kind. But for most, these tips will help. Good luck and look around! The world is beautiful and you are an important part of it.

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