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In today's society there are a lot of relationships that result in illegitimate children. This isn't anything new but what should be new is how we deal with these situations. When I became pregnant with my son my mother had the attitude that if the father wasn't going to marry me that he couldn't have anything to do with us. Also, in a lot of situations paternity is never established so a child not only doesn't physically or emotionally have a parent but he doesn't have one legally. There are a few steps to making sure that if you choose to be a single parent that you aren't the "single" parent in your child's life.

1. Establish paternity-even if the father claims the child make sure that legal documents make the man responsible for his child
2. Separate your relationship with the other parent from that parent's relationship with the child. This way if you break up or if you are never together your lack of feelings for each other don't spill over to the child.
3. Determine whether or not you need a mediator. If you and the father can't get along then maybe the two of you should leave decisions up to the court system.
4. Respect the father of your child and demand the same respect in return. Your relationship with the father of your child will very likely affect how your child deals with men in her adult life.
5. Be open. Just because he doesn't want to do EVERYTHING you way doesn't mean that he isn't in the situation just as much as you are.
6. Put your child first. Children are innoncent and they didn't ask to be brought in the world so it's you and the father's job to make sure that their childhood is happy and as drama free as possible.

Learn more about this author, Rikki Hill.
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