How do you deal with the death of someone who has been important in your life? Initially I think with disbelief. They no longer walk the earth but it's hard to comprehend that. Yesterday I lost my godmother. I didn't see her all the time, but she was always there. Having been a childhood friend of both my mother and father, she was an enduring presence in my life and that of my siblings. I've enjoyed many afternoons listening to stories of the world they grew up in, who my parents were and what they got up to when they were teenagers.

She was always a role model despite a great many disappointments in her life. She discovered in mid-life that her husband had a second family a few doors away and was leading a double life. She left with no money and nowhere to live and managed to not only survive but thrive. She did what many people do after a broken relationship and went overseas where she met her second husband who would stay with her for life. Further sadness arose when her only child was killed in a car accident, a tragedy that deprived her not only of her daughter but of the possibility of grandchildren. She had every reason to be bitter at the cards she was dealt in life. If she ever indulged in anger and self pity, she never expressed it. I think she might have been too busy getting on with things.

She was the most positive, vibrant, life-affirming person I have ever known. No one ever had a bad word to say about her. I know once you die people will rarely speak ill of you (how many headstones do you see with "much hated" inscribed upon them) but people spoke highly of her in life. She always dressed in bright happy colors and with great personal style. At her ninetieth birthday she wore bright red as did her husband. The guests commented on how much they always looked forward to attending her parties. She was bright in nature as well as in her dress. She never did "old" it just wasn't her. She was intolerant of people who complained about life and could always find the positive attitude or action that you might take to make things better. If I could only use one word to describe her, it would be "amazing".

Goodbye Lily, you led by example in this life and I'm sure you'll be dancing with the angels now. The world will miss you and so will I.

Learn more about this author, Janice Heath.
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