by Eric Lannak

Created on: April 02, 2008

When someone puts your face-to-face conversation on hold so they can answer their cell phone, or when someone in a car fails to notice the light has changed because they're using their cell, or when someone in the supermarket has an argument on the phone while you wait behind them at the checkout line would you say the person on the cell is more connected, or more isolated?

On the surface, it would seem they were more connected. They're interacting with a person while doing something far away.

But the person who stops your conversation to answer their cell has essentially said that you are a second priority. This makes you feel less important, and reduces any value your conversation may have.

The person who fails to note that the light has changed is more involved with their conversation than their driving. They are paying less attention to what they are doing, and more attention to the person on the other end.

And the person on the phone in the checkout line obviously thinks their argument is more important than their consideration for those around them. They are less aware of their surroundings, and have relegated their fellow shoppers to little more than fixtures.

WHAT MAKES FOR ISOLATION?

We usually use the term "isolated" to mean remote, lonely, or solitary. But it has another common usage, to describe someone who does not interact with people in a social realm. So even though a shut-in has visitors, phone conversations, television, and the internet, we may still call them "isolated" if they never leave their homes.

Another usage we have for isolation is someone who is emotionally withdrawn. They may have a job and family, go shopping and have conversations. But since they withhold so much of themselves, we might say they are psychologically isolated.

We might call someone isolated simply because they don't have many friends. They may have indulge in online forums and chat, they may have pen pals and outside interests. But if they don't have friends they socialize with, then we consider them withdrawn.

In all of these situations, there is a common thread; these are people who have minimized their exposure to face-to-face social interaction.

If you extend this sort of definition, then any choice you make that limits your face-to-face interaction also isolates you.

WHAT MAKES FOR "CONNECTED"?

Socially, the word "connected" used to mean having powerful or influential friends. A person who was connected could get favors and opportunities denied to the rest of us.

Now the

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