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Love is not a tangible thing. It cannot be lost' per se, but the relationship between two people can change, resulting in a feeling of lost love.' Love is something you feel, something you express, through gestures, actions, words, deeds, and touch. Those on the receiving end of loving expressions may respond by accepting, rejecting, or ignoring them. Unfortunately there are some who may be totally oblivious to certain expressions of love as they don't recognize them as such.

The perception of lost love, whether it be through death, divorce, or rejection, is real. The person who sends the loving gesture has not lost their love, but may feel a change in how the loving gesture was acknowledged, or an absence of love being reciprocated. Nothing feels worse than putting your heart out there and not having it received in a positive way. Being ignored is just as painful as flat out rejection. If the person you love is no longer in your life, there is a void where that reciprocated love used to be. Your love is not lost', it just needs a deserving recipient.

In any case, it hurts. Feeling love for someone can be complicated, as there are many different types love, and the more intimate the relationship, the more painful it is when it changes (which all relationships do). With any change, there is a sense of loss. Loss for how it used to be', loss for what could have been'. There is pain and grieving.

For those who feel that no one is sending love their way, perhaps they are and you just don't recognize it. Their expressions may not look like what you envision love to be. Love is not just flowers and romantic walks, it's doing dishes, and taking out the trash. Love takes many forms, be open to accepting love in all its forms, practice expressing it in different ways yourself. Appreciate that most loving gestures are offered with good intent, even if it's not what you had hoped for. Be more aware of how you can send love to others; think of what they would appreciate. Just because someone doesn't love you like you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you.

We all want to feel loved and appreciated. Love is complicated, constantly changing, and evolving as we grow together (and apart). Grateful is the one who realizes that they have the capacity to love, despite the risk for pain. It may not be that your love is lost'; it may be disguised as Chinese take-out.

Learn more about this author, Michelle Meier RN BSN.
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