by Lisa H Warren

Created on: April 02, 2008   Last Updated: April 03, 2008

The only thing prenatal classes should teach about discipline is that it doesn't (or at least shouldn't) come into play until a child is old enough to understand the concept of not following the rules.

Time and time again I have run into parenting sites where parents ask questions about disciplining their six-month old or their one-year-old. It's as if these well intentioned parents have been considering all the child-rearing issues parents face, without understanding that parents don't face all parenting issues the day the baby is born. It's always sensible for parents to plan out how they will deal with issues as they arise. What is not so sensible, however, is for parents to plan out their approach to issues associated with one level of development - and then begin applying their preferred approach to a problem before there is ever a problem.

Too many parents don't understand that the ten-month old who keeps heading for the electrical outlet is not the same as the four-year-old who talks back to his mother. The ten-month old who keeps going back to the outlet is just interested in it. There is the argument that he will need to learn not to touch "off-limits" things in the house, and that's true. A baby of this age can actually be discouraged from touching something "off-limits" when an adult simply keeps taking him away from it and saying, "no", but this seemingly effective "discipline approach" really only works through a process of conditioning. A baby of this age doesn't understand why he's not supposed to touch the outlet, and he doesn't understand the concepts of "off-limits for a reason" or "rules".

One-year-olds dump the contents of their bowls over their heads, pick apart their disposable diapers at the expense of having a soil-free crib, and even smack their parents' faces because they like the reaction they get. Objectionable as such behaviors can be, the "guilty" one-year-old only noticed how much a bowl can look like a hat, only discovered that his diaper can be picked into interesting shreds, and only discovered that he can do something to make his parents react in shock. He wasn't being devious or cruel, and he certainly had no concept about proper social behavior and rule-breaking.

In the first two years of a child's life discipline isn't something parents need to think much about. In those first two years it's all more a matter of heading off the things babies and toddlers are most likely going to do; or else not over-reacting those times when

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