Composition classes were always my favorite. Everyone in the class complained, except me. The professor was a hard-nosed stickler who lacked a sense of humor and I loved him. His no nonsense approach to writing suited me just fine.

The class met on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursday. An essay was due at the beginning of each class. He kept up jumping and the assignments never let up; they just got longer and harder. I still loved it. Then the assignment from "way south" was handed out. Two essays, due the same day; a comparison/contrast of two items never used in the sentence at once.

I had no idea where to begin. For the first time in my life, I didn't have anything to write about. I sat in my off-campus apartment and stared at my blank page. This went on for days. The night before the two essays were due I was still looking at blank paper. "Polar opposites," was my only thought. Then it hit me...

Nuns and prostitutes. Walt Disney and Hugh Hefner. I had the perfect comparison/contrast essay ideas. But, my professor would hate them. He lack humor. He was the most un-funny person I had ever met. Humor was the only slant I could come up with for my essays. I decided to run with them. I could still pull out a B even if I flunked theses two essays. A B was out of the question; I had scholarships to protect and keep. On the other hand, I had no other ideas and the essays were due at my 7 a.m. class. Please feel free to use and abuse these ideas.

Nuns and prostitutes. Nuns have a mother superior. Prostitutes have a madame. Nuns were funny clothes; prostitutes were funny clothes. They both live lives outside the norm. They are many misconceptions about their lives. I was in shock. Nuns and prostitutes have a lot in common.

As do Walt Disney and Hugh Hefner. Both multi-millionaires. Both made their fortunes off rodents. Both created a brand recognized around the world. Both were loved and hated by the public.

Wow. I was on to something. I jut had to sell it to Dr. Humorless.

I turned the essays in with trembling hands. I sat at my desk and started my next assignment - defining an "ism." I choose patriotism from the list on the board. I was to nervous to write. Then, the entire class heard it.

It was a chuckle. Coming from the professor's desk. He was laughing. The class was surprised as he wiped a tear from the corner of eye. He stood up.

"Pens down. Did you know that nuns and prostitutes have things in common, as do Walt Disney and Hugh Hefner?" He read my essays aloud in front of the class. The entire class roared at the absurdity of the essays. Factual, but absurd.

For the record, Mr. Sourpuss gave me two As. He was pleased. As was I.

Learn more about this author, Emma Riley Sutton.
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