After watching both seasons of Rock of Love, it has occurred to me that I know next to nothing about men.

Furthermore, I totally wouldn't make a very good "dude".

Poison lead singer Bret Michaels decided to take his quest for true love to the hallowed halls of VH1 "Celebreality" television.

Basically just take the Bachelor and remove anything even remotely family friendly and you have "Rock of Love".

There are groupies and strippers, cat fights and pole dancing. In the midst there's the vague notion that a couple can fall in love in a ridiculously short period of time, cut even shorter by all the camera time.

Given that Bret is now in his 40s and has two young daughters, you'd think that our seasoned rocker would attempt to find someone, oh... I dunno... stable to take home to his kids.

But apparently, he likes crazy girls.

In the first season there was the Magenta Haired Menace Lacey, who toyed with the other girls as gleefully and unapologetically as a cat dining on a rodent de jour. Her part, as she figured it, was as the instigator.

And she was really, annoyingly good at it.

In the other corner was Heather, the thirty-something stripper with 80s hair and a nudist mentality. She also made sport of some of the weaker contestants in her quest to win her man.

And finally, rounding out the trifecta of love was pink coiffed hairstylist Jes.

Jes ended up winning her guy and restoring my faith in men. That was, until the reunion show when she promptly told Bret that he made a mistake kicking Heather to the curb for her, because their love wasn't rockin'.

Hence the second season.

So far we've had Kristy Jo, the twice married emotional wreck who decided several weeks into dating another man it was about time she told her second husband things weren't working out.

There is also Daisy, who has single-handedly cornered the silicone market with breast and lip implants that make the show almost feel like it's shot in 3-D.

Finally, there's Ambre. The thirty-something fun loving gal that may be short on rock and roll but is long on stablity.

In other words, my favorite.

Which means of course he won't pick her.

No, instead he has fallen and become putty for the crazy, unavailable chicks.

Can you say "Rock of Love 3"?

I knew that you could.

So next week Bret finally finds a chink in Ambre's armor as it is revealed she lied to him about her age. Instead of being 31, her own daddy will spill the beans that she's really 37.

Keep in mind Bret kept Kristy Jo when she lied about how seriously she was involved with her second husband AND Daisy for not coming clean about living with her ex *and* having a prior (ever so innocent) relationship with Poison guitarist C.C. Deville. So if Bret sends her packing because of a few measly years of age... I will be sorely tempted to promptly fly to Los Angeles and kick his patooty my own damn self.

That's when I have to take a breath and remind myself that the only real bright side is if Bret chooses Daisy over Ambre, it might just be the best thing that ever happened to my last favorite standing.

In VH1's "Rock of Love", a dating reality show where losing just may be winning after all.

Learn more about this author, Ginger Voight.
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