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"A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often."-Unknown
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
-Bill Cosby

At the wise age of 2 years, I had a steady boyfriend/husband-like figure. My neighbor, Greg, and I spent every waking moment together, going on magnificent quests and adventures that only the child's mind can produce. I describe him as a husband-like figure, because from the knowledge I've gained thus far about marriage hierarchy, I've gathered that the female overpowers the male indefinitely. Needless to say, our relationship was no exception. I bossed that poor boy around day in and day out from the moment we met. He responded to my demands with silent compliance. We made a stunningly cute and intelligent couple. One of our favorite activities was drawing detailed imaginary cities on my driveway with chalk. I'm not quite sure why; perhaps we were just feeding our creative hungers. That wasn't the habit that worried my mother, though. We spent many a summer days wandering through the yards of the neighborhood, making new and brilliant discoveries. Many teachers and child psychiatrists would encourage such activity, as it would help to expand our young minds. But, the freedom we were given by our parental units was not well-deserved, for, despite being good kids, we were a bit out there. As I've stated in a previous chapter, the repeating pattern that I've noticed throughout my childhood is that my thoughts and motivations have been centered around food. For what reason, I am unsure, for I was never at any point overweight, or particularly gluttonous. I thank my lucky stars each and every day for a fast metabolism, I'll tell you that much. So anyway, we were on an excursion one bright, and scorching summer day. We were pacing around my backyard, not aimlessly, but with a definite purpose. My mother always tended to keep an eye on us by glancing out the kitchen window every so often, and my yard wasn't very large so this wasn't difficult for her to know our exact global position at all times. On this particular day, though, she must have gotten caught up in her maternal duties for too long, because she wasn't paying us the attention that was necessary to our survival. Greg and I had happened to stumble upon a pile of tiny, brown, spherical objects in the grass, and after much scientific evaluation, we came to the conclusion that these tiny, brown things were indeed yummy chocolates

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