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good dictator needs their own set of groupies. Hitler had his brown shirts, and then the SS. Mussolini had his black shirts. Saddam had the Republican Guard. Seems it just feels nice to be surrounded by people who like you, people who are dedicated to you, people who would kill and die for you. So, if you ever start feeling the need to surround yourself with a large group of very violent people, preferably all wearing the same colour shirts or sporting large 80's aviator sun glasses (even when they're inside) or waxed moustaches, then you're in danger of becoming a dictator.

4. Eccentric? Moi?
It's a well known fact that dictators are pretty darn eccentric and don't feel bad about imposing their little oddities upon their loyal subjects. So if you ever feel the desire, just for the hell of it, or wonder what it would be like to: make beards illegal, have 'Hopping Wednesdays', deport all the turtles, declare yourself a reincarnation of Napoleon or make everybody shave the left side of their head; then you're well on your way to dictatorship.

5. Me, Me Me.

Dictators are well known to be egomaniacs. There seems to be a strange correlation between being a dictator and feeling the need to erect lots of statues of yourself in flattering and glorifying poses, to plaster every available flat surface with posters of yourself, to mint coins with your stately noggin printed on them, to put your face on all the stamps, on all the chocolate bars, to have your own three hours weekly television program. In short, you really love yourself. Of course dictators explain this strange egocentricity away by saying that it's just so that people know they care about them, to know that they are looking over and after their people. Yeah, that explains why little Jimmy has to wake up screaming and sweating in the night to a poster of your dictatorial grin looking down on him from the bedroom ceiling. So if you ever get the urge to start slapping photos of yourself all over the place, then you're probably becoming a dictator.

Learn more about this author, Nicholas Cockayne.
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