2 of 32

No

Write now Article Tools

Parents should not simply allow babies to cry themselves to sleep. Babies cry to communicate, and babies whose cries are attended to learn to trust a caregiver, an essential step in and for development. In ignoring a baby's cries, the adult caregiver is basically shutting off that avenue of communication. Studies have shown that infants whose cries are responded to actually learn to cry less as older infants and toddlers. Even the Ferber method, which is generally thought of as the "cry-it-out" method, recommends waiting until the age of four to six months, a stage when the infant is more physically and emotionally ready. Moreover, the goal of the Ferber method is not eliminating the caregiver's response to the infant's cries, but rather, teaching the infant to fall asleep alone by placing limitations on the caregiver's response to those cries. For example, a caregiver responds to cries by patting and comforting the baby rather than picking them up or feeding them. It is interesting to note that the idea of babies sleeping independently is a practice found primarily in modern, Western societies.

Priscilla Dunston, an Australian with a photographic memory for sound, has an interesting and provocative theory as to babies' cries. She asserts that babies' cries can be decoded and interpreted as a language of their own, and one that crosses racial and cultural boundaries. She proposes that there are five "words," or sound reflexes, that babies use to communicate needs and that some babies use some of these words more than others. She recommends that caregivers pay attention to the "pre-cry" cues of the infant for those sound reflexes, that is, before the infant is crying hysterically. Her theory blends well with the Sears method, which also emphasizes that caregivers pay close attention to and learn infant pre-cry cues. The Sears method proposes that by responding early and promptly to such cues, the caregiver teaches the infant that he or she does not always have to cry to communicate needs. As the caregiver learns infant cues, he or she develops the appropriate responses, and, in turn, the need for immediate response decreases in the older infant.

Babies are labor intensive creatures, and it is always better for a tired and frazzled caregiver to let a baby cry for a while than take out their exhaustion and frustration on the infant. The Sears method does well to define the differences in infant personalities, and acknowledge the stress caused by a "high need" or fussy baby. However, rather than trying to manipulate a tired adult into picking them up for the umpteenth time, that "colicky" baby might actually be communicating a physical stressor, such as painful digestion related to a food allergy. Likewise, if his or her cries initiate a caregiver's touch, that infant reaps the benefits of the release of pain reducing hormones (endorphins)-an ingenious system. Sears asserts that the baby who has to escalate cries to gain attention, or fails to cry altogether (what Sears labels as "shutdown syndrome" or baby depression), loses trust in that important avenue of communication. That confusion may be an important reason for a baby's failure to thrive.

Think of the importance of "crying communication" in establishing that trust between infant and caregiver. When basic physical and safety needs are met, infants gain time to begin their discovery of the world around them. An infant who knows cries will be attended to cries less and moves on to achieving developmental milestones. Likewise, an infant who cannot be comforted or one who fails to cry may prompt a caregiver to seek out much needed medical attention.

Babies' cries are essential communication. They and baby should not be left unattended.

Learn more about this author, Laura Zayas.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Should parents allow their babies to cry themselves to sleep??
We want to hear your view. Write now!