Presidential Phone Calls - Who's on the Other End?

Both Democratic candidates declare that they will answer the White House phone in the middle of the night. I can't tell you what a sense of relief that brings to me; it was one of my greatest concerns. They can banter back and forth all they want to about who is more worthy of lifting the handset, but I don't think it is an issue. First of all, what President is going to be answering calls then anyway that's what staff is for. Secondly, world leaders won't be making friendly phone calls at that time, and surely if they are planning an attack, they are not going to call and say, "Sorry to wake you, but there is a missile heading your way."

Despite all of the talk, I have not heard a great deal of commentary about who could possibly be calling at 3 o'clock in the morning. The question is "who's really on the other end?" I have a few ideas.

Obama's calls
Ted Kennedy
"How do you pronounce your name again?"

Bill Cunningham - "May I speak with Barack HUSSEIN Obama?"

Country of Kenya (pleasant recorded voice)
"Congratulations! Your order of 200 cases of Obama Beer just left the warehouse."

Bill Ayers (hushed voice)
"I'm outside the Pentagon right now."

Chris Matthews
"Hey there! Whatcha doing? Oooh, there goes that tingle again!"

Ebay
"Congratulations! Your used hanky outsold "Jesus in a sandwich" by 40 trillion dollars."

Oprah
"HeyBama! Your hanky hangs proudly over my mantelpiece."

Hillary's calls
Bill (3:01am)
"Sorry, Hill. I'm working late at the office; I'll be in soon."

Inadvertent call (3:02am)
"Various giggles and snickers."

Dr. Phil
"Hill? Phil. Bill left his wallet at my house yesterday.

James Carville and Howard Dean
"um n ah togoog al ah aoumpha don ah." "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Al Gore
"The icebergs are melting! The icebergs are melting!"

Bill Richardson
"I returned the 30 pieces of silver, can you ever forgive me?

Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
"It's 3:00 am. Do you know where you husband is?"

Learn more about this author, Kari Berele.
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