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The city dwellers dream is to own a house in the country. What could be nicer, the sound of bird song in the morning, butterflies flitting from flower to flower in your adorable garden, less traffic, more time to enjoy the good things in life in comfortable rural retreat. The friendly local shop and pub, the friendly locals, the list of attractions is endless.

Stop right there.

I am a country girl born and bred and it isn't like that. Country living is not for the faint of heart.

First you need to find your comfortable rural retreat. Unless you are a millionaire there are likely to be few options that will be within your price bracket. If you find the ideal cottage within your price bracket get a survey done. You need to check for rising damp, falling damp, woodworm, deathwatch beetle, and rats, mice and in certain parts of the world snakes or bats in the attic. If you do have bats in the attic you will probably not be allowed to move them since they will be a protected species.

Structurally have you checked that the walls are staying up, and that the roof is staying put on them? Thatched cottages looked wonderful, but are usually sold just before the thatch needs replacing as it costs so much to replace it. Does the wiring date from before Edison, do the windows fit, where does the water come from, and most importantly where does the sewage go?

So now you've found the dream home and are ready to move in. You need to find a removal company that has even heard of where you are going. On arrival you may decide that a few minor jobs need doing. This is now a challenge. None of the tradesmen you knew in town are going to come out to your home, and you can't understand the dialect of the local odd job man. You may decide to do the job yourself. At this point you need to buy a four-wheel drive, to carry the building supplies back from town, because they only deliver to your area every three months, and the delivery charge is more than the price of the goods.

Never mind, now the jobs are done and you can sit back and enjoy a cup of tea and a take-away. You may find the local take-away is back in town, you know where you were before for the building supplies, a two-hour round trip away. Try the pub. They usually do food and you need to meet the neighbors.

The locals are usually friendly and accepting. They will provide you information about the local amenities and you should soon make friends. In a village every one knows every one else, and every thing about them. This is

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