by Magu Nguru

Created on: March 29, 2008   Last Updated: March 30, 2008

It is not by mistake that a man and a woman are meant to be the closest friends that you can ever find in this world. I believe that God planned it that way so that the offspring from the relationship can be brought up in the most conducive environment to help them in turn, raise their children in the same manner. It is unfortunate that today we hear of many divorces and separations and other domestic problems. It shows that there is something wrong in the institution of marriage and a lot can be traced to the fact that the couples are not best friends.

As explained in many other articles under the same theme, friends are people who love each other, make sacrifices for each other, share in many things and most importantly understand one another. A couple ought to be first of all best of friends then afterwards lovers. This is evident by the fact that they are actually meant to share the same bed. Sometimes I wonder if there is any one else in the world with whom I can share my bed with. Even as a child, it was a real issue to share my bed with my brother. Now as a husband and wife we are not only share our bed but also our bodies. How much closer can two people get?

Ideally when people get this close, they have to spend time together and talk with one another. The husband is meant to share his deepest thoughts with his wife. His wife in turn is meant to be able to read his feelings and ask the right questions to make him reveal his current state of mind. The husband is meant to treat his wife as a special person always giving gifts, clothes and love. The husband and wife ought to be seen together in public doing things in common and dating even 30yrs into their marriage. I actually know of one couple who have been married for over five years and they still go to church holding hands with their child. That's amazing and it is because they are the closet friends of each other.

If we can spend time and sacrifice out ambitions for our friends, then how much more is expected of us with our husbands and wives. I think over time the couple stop doing the little things that made them love each other in the first place and start to take each other for granted. May be it is because they say that "familiarity brings contempt" but I think differently. Couples start to put themselves first and their careers and children forgetting that friendship is about sacrifice. They afterwards stop giving to one other forgetting that friendship is about giving. Sometime later, they become so separated emotionally that their married life becomes a routine with nothing new and exciting. They soon start to criticize one another showing clearly that as friends they have stopped to understand one another. Finally fights come in and soon later they start to find other closer friends that are not part of the relationship leading to divorce in the long run especially if that other confidant is a person of the opposite sex.

Any relationship is founded on friendship- the closest being that between a man and his wife. When they exchange their marriage vows, they commit themselves to stay together through sickness and health, in joy and in pain, in good times and bad times for richer and for poorer until death do them part. If only they can commit themselves to go through all those phases in life and prove that the closest of all human friendship is that between a man and his wife. It is sad that many of us stick closer with other friends even for life and not our spouses and throw in the towel too soon. It is time for every married couple to renew their friendship and enjoy a fruitful life. If only all couples can apply the principles of friendship in the marriage wouldn't life be much better?

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