by Barbara A. Black

Created on: March 29, 2008

Friends serve many purposes in our lives, and the holes they leave behind when they leave can't be filled by family or anyone else. Those holes are there forever, until the day comes that you run into that friend again, and suddenly you realize what you have been missing all those years.

Friends are people you can count on to tell you the truth about yourself, even if it hurts. Family will sometimes tell you, but friends will tell you in a way that you have to believe them. Sometimes you get mad at them when they tell you something you would rather not know, but when you think about it later, you realize that they had done you a favor by helping you see the truth before it would hurt even more.

Friends will listen to you when no one else will. They might ask questions to make sure they are getting all the facts (at least the ones you know) and to learn how much you know about the problem. They might know more than you do, but they need to know what you know before they can help you. So they listen and make sure how aware you are of how important the problem is that you are talking about.

Friends will cry with you when you are sad. You may be sad because your boyfriend/girlfriend just broke up with you, you've found out you (or a loved one) has an incurable disease, or you are just tired of "the rat race" and want to take time out for yourself. Friends are the ones you go to and can "let your hair down" with!

Friends will cry and/or laugh with you when you are glad. If you are thrilled about a new job, an anticipated move, or just found out you are pregnant (or your "significant other is, if you are male!) or in love, friends will be thrilled when you are. And they will help you celebrate, whatever the occasion.

Friends will also bolster your confidence when you aren't sure you should ask for a raise, look for a new job, move to another town, or any of a myriad other decisions we make every day. Friends will be there, backing you up and supporting you with their faith in you and in your abilities. They will stand with you or behind you, whichever way you need them. And the reason is that they care about you, and that you are their friend.

So what are friends for? They are for turning to when things are going great, and when they are turning sour. They are for sharing good times and bad times and sad times. They are for celebrating with and for regretting with. They are for laughing with and for crying with. And they are for living with, playing with, praying with, and dying for. Good friends can't be bought; they are earned. And the only way to earn them is to be a good friend yourself!

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