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Honk if you have a saddle horn.

Without a doubt the funniest horse story I remember didn't happen anywhere near a horse. In fact, it came about at night, in a bingo hall.

After being self-employed for thirty years, I fell into a job this last year that put me in contact with real people. One of which has turned into one of my best friends and bingo buddy. She really is bingo crazy. I am just the bingo side kick.

Bingo is a long torture session in which one hopes to win money. After a while you get proficient enough to keep up with the number calling and chat. There are long spaces of silence and then someone will pop up with something, we chat and then silence. The cycle continues.

This night we had also persuaded another friend from work to come with us. Silence, chat, silence and then my bingo crazy friend says, "I want to learn to ride a horse." Wow. That just came out of left field. Silence. She was raised in Cleveland, is a larger woman as I am and also older, as I am. I am thinking on how to broach this whole idea with finesse. Larger older women don't usually take up horseback riding. Not to say they can't it's just rare. I'm thinking. Silence.

"What kind of riding do you want to learn?" our other friend says. What do you mean what kind of riding?" I chime in. "Do you want to learn English or Western." "What's the difference?" she asks. "Well, Western saddles have a horn, English saddles don't." Silence. More silence. She says. "Why the hell do I need a horn on my saddle? Don't the other horses know to get out of the way?"

Two of the three of us are almost in tears while one is looking confused. I catch up on my bingo cards while I gather my self and explain the real purpose of a saddle horn. We play and silence hangs over us for a little bit.

"Do they have a strap?" she asks. Uh oh, "A strap?" Now I'm confused. "Yes. A strap. Do English saddles have a strap?" I'm very confused. I say, "I'm not sure what you mean by a strap." "When I ride the horse on the merry-go-round it has a STRAP so I don't fall off." "No." I say. "Well how do you stay on then?" she asks. I said. "You have to be a very good rider. Let's start with a saddle with a horn."

Learn more about this author, Ginger Sanders.
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