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12 of 19

by Michelle Uduigwome

Accepting the fact that each individual is different might be the first step in raising children with high self-esteem.
That way as parents we might not expect them to behave in a particular way.
Constantly comparing your child to his siblings or neighbor's kids is one of the worst moves a parent can make.
I mean what is that supposed to tell the child?
Fight the urge to be original and emulate other people?
If you have to compare, you need to do it in a constructive way. A way that'll tell your child "I'm not saying this person is better than you but i want you to learn something from him or her".
Watch out for opportunities to praise your child around people.
They tend to act embarrassed when you do this but deep down they know you're proud of them.

Knowing when and where to draw the line in praising might be the greatest challenge.
How do you do this without raising a heady child who feels he's better than anyone else and thinks he should be called 'king'?
Understanding your child is one the ways of raising confident offspring because if you have more than one child you really can't use the same raising methods for all of them.
You also have to realize that a child's temperament might change naturally as he/she grows older so you need to look out for the signs.
Discipline is one inevitable tip for raising kids with high self-esteem though i know some parents might think otherwise.
When it comes to instilling discipline in a child, you have to make the child know what he has done wrong.
Discipline makes your child realize that he's living in a world where he's most unlikely to get away with doing something wrong.
Its a busy world out there and a lot of things are fighting for our attention as individuals. It becomes almost impossible to spend quality time with our family.
Make out quality time to spend with your children. A period when you do not allow any distractions to come in. This singular act makes your child realize he/she is important to you. Important enough to put everything else on hold.
During you time together try to be more of your child's friend than a parent. This way they'll feel free to open up to you on anything bothering them.
If you have more than one child, try to devote a special time for each child. And also spend time together as a family.
No one says its easy but you'll find out that it becomes easier by the day.
Very important, respect your child's views no matter how seemingly silly. Laughing off your child's ideas could make him withdraw from you. He feels his ideas are not important to you, so why open up?
Work with other care givers like your child's teacher, nanny and so on. they might know something about your child that you don't.
What i consider the most important of all, if you believe in God, ask him for guidance in raising your child.
Raising a child is not the easiest job in the world!

Learn more about this author, Michelle Uduigwome.

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