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Before a problem can be solved the cause of it must be understood.

There will always be those parents who just take off, live it up, and don't pay child support. They're deadbeats. They're negligent. They are not, however, those normal, decent, parents who find themselves struggling after divorce.

There will also always be those extremely wealthy couples who divorce and fight over whether child support should be $4,000,000 or a "mere" $30,000 a month. They may have their reasons. They may have their justifications. They are not, however, included in the numbers of divorcing couples who live on low, modest, middle, or even upper-middle incomes; and who must make their combined income potential cover two homes and all the expenses that go with them.

In the most usual situations, a couple of normal means divorces; and someone gets physical custody of the children, while someone else is, of course, expected to pay child support (which can mean contributing to the roof that shelters the children and their other parent). The world, for the most part, sends the message to all divorcing parents, "We're very sorry that this is hard for you, but you're the ones who decided to divorce. Your children are the ones who are innocent victims of your bad choices. All anyone cares about is that some parent supports them - and nobody cares how that's done."

Courts kick one parent out of the home without asking where they have to go, or whether they have money to find a place. Courts don't write separation agreements that assure both parents will have the money to be able to get themselves to work. They don't give notice about changes in financial agreements. If attorneys must be appointed they may be half-baked attorneys who do a half-hearted job representing their client. Client-paid attorneys often just "go with the usual program" of how divorces are generally handled.

Contrary to popular belief, divorces aren't usually the willy-nilly whims of silly people who didn't take their marriage seriously. They are often something the couple has waited too long to pursue. Some divorces are actually the best thing for the children. Some are not the fault of either party; but even when one party is at fault, that fault doesn't always involve being a rotten person.

In any case, being the non-custodial parent does not indicate being an unfit parent, a selfish one, or a rotten one. Equally, being the custodial parent does not necessarily mean one is a completely innocent victim. Child support

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