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The Stages of Date Rape

Date rape, like most crimes doesn't just happen. There are important warning signals that indicate that something violent is about to occur. If you pay attention and stay alert, by not consuming too much alcohol, you may survive. These eight stages are a progression of a woman's loss of control and the rapist's acceleration of control. Take heed and ask yourself if you're experiencing any or all of these steps.

Stage One:
He is charming and the perfect gentlemen. He pays a lot of attention to you and is extremely engaging. He goes out of his way to fawn over you and impress you. Remember that if he's too charming, then it may be an act. He may have an agenda that could be very dangerous. Stay alert. Ask yourself: Why is he trying to "charm me?"

Stage Two:
Once he feels like he's charmed you, his real personality may become visible. He may make some insensitive remarks about women and how they "tease" men with what they wear or how they act. He may even say that women who wear this or that kind of outfit are "asking for it". A red flag should be going up for you here. This kind of remark indicates that he thinks men are justified in raping if the woman turns them on.

Stage Three:
Now he starts to control you by making decisions for you. Ordering your food, drinks, and telling you what you want. He will be more forceful now and tell you that you don't know your own mind and that he is, in essence, superior to you. He may even tell you how to eat your food. Don't be flattered with his manipulations. He is testing the waters to see how you will respond. He wants to know if you'll just take it, or stand up for yourself.

Stage Four:
He plies you with alcohol. Now the physical assault has really begun. He may keep ordering drinks for you and telling you to have just one more drink. He knows that if he can get you drunk enough, you won't be able to think clearly and unable to resist his assault. Remember that because of the fact that women generally have more body fat, they become intoxicated much faster then men.

Stage Five:
He now tries to get you into an isolated spot. He may have told you that there was a party and that you just had to go with him. You may give in to be nice, only to find out that there is no party and you are trapped. Remember isolation is always necessary in criminal assaults. He wants no witnesses and no interruptions.

Stage Six:
Confusion leads to denial, which leads to rape. At this point the actual assault begins. Your first response

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