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by Carolyn Tytler

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Raising successful children is an admirable goal, but first you may have to adjust your concept of what being successful means. If you've been blessed with a son or daughter of average intelligence and you expect him or her to become a nuclear physicist, a brain surgeon, or a university professor, you're setting yourself up for defeat. In the bargain, you'll create an anxious, depressed child who feels he's not good enough to achieve anything worthwhile in life. You'll both end up being miserable and disappointed.

To avoid this unhappy scenario, let's try to outline some realistic goals which every parent should entertain while he's engaged in the challenging task of raising a child.

Every child is born with specific strengths and weaknesses. Your task is to discover the strengths as early as possible and take steps to maximize development in those areas. If a toddler picks out recognizable tunes on a toy piano, he's a prime candidate for music lessons. If your daughter is always trying out new hairdos on herself and her friends, she may be a future prize-winning stylist. For her, different types of combs, brushes and hair accessories would be suitable birthday gifts. A youngster who delights in building tall and intricate structures with his blocks may become an architect. Give him lots of room, different kinds of building blocks and let him build to his heart's content.

On the other hand, if your child is in Grade Four and still having trouble with simple addition, don't encourage her to become an accountant. Instead, praise her for some accomplishment she has mastered and help her learn enough Mathematics skills to squeeze through each grade as long as necessary. " Suzy, those pancakes you made for breakfast were outstanding. Oh, by the way, today I heard about a lady who is looking for children to tutor in Math. Would you like to give her a try?"

To be successful in their chosen field, every child needs to grow up strong and healthy. To this end, he should have regular medical check-ups, and receive all required inoculations. Provide him with a healthy diet: lots of fruit and vegetables and very little junk food. He should be encouraged to participate in sports. Eventually, encourage him to choose one or two which he enjoys and which he can do reasonably well, and concentrate on those. As he continues to participate through his teen years, good health will follow him into adulthood.

Every child should have engrossing hobbies to enjoy in their leisure time. Childhood is the time to introduce these interests so they can develop as the child grows. Keep a reader well-supplied with books. Knitting or crocheting can be relaxing and produce useful, beautiful articles. Wool, needles or crochet hooks are not expensive and easily available. For girls, sewing clothes for her dolls may develop into a dressmaking ability which will keep her and her family fashionably attired for years to come. Boys who build a birdhouse today may become the master craftsman for a famous furniture house tomorrow.

One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is a spiritual foundation which will help him answer the difficult questions in life and give him strength to meet times of sorrow and trial which beset every human being. A spiritual faith, instilled in childhood will never be totally forgotten. He may stop the actual week-to-week observance within a formal a church setting during the late teenage years, but when the tough times come, and they will, he'll remember and have the means of coping, if he chooses to make use them.

These, then, are a few tips for raising children. Find and maximize strengths; minimize and cope with weaknesses. Keep them healthy by providing a healthy diet, appropriate medical attention and sufficient physical activity. Interest them in hobbies and pastimes to fill leisure hours. Nourish their spirits with a faith to sustain them through the difficult times in life. A parent who follows this advice will have a successful child, no matter what profession or career path they follow. Repayment comes later, when you watch your adult child raising your grandchildren in exactly the same way as you raised him.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Tytler.

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