By developing and reflecting on yourself and the influences throughout your own life, it is possible to successfully develop your child's emotions in a stable and positive manner. i am a psychiatric nurse and have seen the irreversible damage caused to young people by a lack of emotional parental skills whilst they were growing. it is widely known that the child's emotional development is before the age of 12 years, so it is vital during these early years to ensure the child learns appropriate emotions. they say it is good for a child to lose a pet so that they can learn to grieve and believe immortality, i am undecided about that one as it appears to be quite traumatizing.

I do know that children learn how to deal with their emotions from that of their parents or guardians and the adults around them. it is also seen in psychiatry that an anxious and depressed person usually has an anxious and depressed mother. schizophrenia is also said to have causal links to emotional indifference while growing, and the child forms their own emotional world in which they live. The negativity that the child receives from its parents, also known as 'high expressed emotion' is known to have a detrimental effect on the emotional growth, leaving the child emotionally retarded. As an adult, they have no emotional stability or appropriate skills to deal with any trauma, or to show to others, they cannot predict the emotions of others, or of someone who may need comfort.

Parents who don't get along and fight with each other is obviously traumatizing for a young child, but also is the separation of its parents, so the actions are not always the cause of emotional instability, its the way the adults deal with their situation which holds the key to developing the child's emotional intelligence. The child needs to be able to cry, laugh and be moody, their emotions should not be stiffled so that they become confused and then unable to predict emotional situations or cope with them.

leading your children down the right path is difficult and we all cope with emotions in different ways. Parents can develop their child's emotional intelligence by reforming and reflecting on their own. reflecting on those emotions of others you believe to be inappropriate or 'over the top'. Our own parents are a good place to start, if you think you are an emotionally stable person then your parents probably did something right, have a think if you are doing the same for your child. if you had a mother who was always putting you down, remember how it felt, how does it feel now, and do you do it to your children. as an adult we can change how we deal with emotions if it means raising our children in a different manner

thank you

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