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We are constantly barraged with articles in magazines and sites on the Internet about how to "find" or "get" your match. With so many articles, experts, and books published, how is it that we do not have a definitive solution to meeting your match? Perhaps the answer lies in in some of the terminology used such as "get", "find", "win", etc. The terminology in most of these articles suggests that we must DO something to find the love of our life.

I suggest that the answer is not in doing but instead lies in being. It seems so much easier to look outside ourselves for what we seek but we search in vain until we look within. We do not "get", "win" or "find" our match, we attract it based on who we are. We've all heard that "like attracts like" and if you really look at your past relationships you will find it to be true. All our relationships, intimate or friendships, are a direct reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

Some will dismiss this theory as pure rubbish because the idea that they are responsible for what they consider disastrous relationships is something they do not want to consider. It is much easier to blame our partners for our unhappiness or for the relationship not working out. An interesting point to consider is that the people we most look up to, admire and consider the sages or our day such as Oprah Winfrey, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Joe Vitale, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn and Abraham-Hicks do not agree with this philosophy. They all are strong believers in the concept that what we see outside of ourselves reflects our thoughts, feelings and words. In other words, what we experience in life is a mirror of our relationship with self.

Let's suppose for a minute that all the ordinary people playing the "blame game" are wrong and that these folks we look up to are correct. Wouldn't that mean that we can finally stop wishing, hoping and dreaming for the perfect relationship but instead can be filled with hope; knowing that we are empowered with the ability to create it? Marianne Williamson in one of her lectures once asked her audience "has anyone here ever made a list of all the qualities they would like to see in their perfect person such as "I want someone kind, loving, compassionate, accepting, intelligent, articulate, etc." Anyone made that list? Now I want you to picture someone with all those traits and characteristics on your list and ask yourself this question, Would that person want to be with me?" Marianne went on to suggest to her

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