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Protracted logic doesn't generally penetrate a negative mind set and often makes is worse.
3. Don't show any sign of intimidation if you are verbally or emotionally abused. Showing that you can be intimidated only gives an unpleasant person more negative power.
4. Don't offer personal advice. A negative individual will hold you responsible when things don't work out "the way you said they would."

5. Don't insult or talk down. Negative or not, everyone deserves to be respected.

THE DOS

6. Do be a good listener and resist the temptation to confront.
7. Do paraphrase or reflect back what you think you are hearing. When negative people really have the opportunity to hear how they are being perceived, it can sometimes create a climate for change.
8. Do call the individual by name and give them eye contact.
9. Do look for ways to help the "whiner" or "steamroller" take ownership of his own behavior.
10. Do take control of the outcome of the conversation by asking one of these three questions:
A. What do you think you might do about it?
B. Have you thought about your options for dealing with this?
C. How do you want this conversation to end?

A steamroller or whiner, whether consciously aware of it or not, is engaging you because he wants you to meet some undisclosed need in his life. If you know this going into a conversation it will save you the fruitless effort of cajoling, pleading, lecturing, or worse yet, being put on the defensive, while trying to change his negative perspective. You can show respect, listen, and let him hear what he is really saying. You can challenge him to take ownership of his own negativity by asking him what he can do to change his situation. At some point, you have to leave him on his own and then walk away. As you're walking away, breathe out the negative stuff that you've been dealing with and tell yourself this: "No matter what's up ahead in my own future I will never be described by those who love me, as a negative person."

Learn more about this author, Dr. Deborah Bauers.
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