3 of 24

Write now Article Tools

Identifying a negative individual is the easy part. The real work begins when you try to communicate. Trying to have a two-sided conversation with a person who is disagreeable and downbeat is far from pleasant and requires good boundaries and allot of hard work. A pessimist wears out the patience of those closest to him and drains the energy from friends who try to help him see things from a more positive perspective. If you spend much time around a personality type that perpetually whines, criticizes, or spreads a gospel of "doom and gloom," you know how important is it to constantly monitor your own attitude to prevent negativity from chipping away at your previously sunny disposition.

Difficult personality types are defined by opposite ends of a behavioral continuum that is best described as "compensatory." On one end of this gamut you can find the "steamroller," who has a driving need to feel superior and will run over you to do so. At the other end of the same behavioral scale is the "victim" who perpetually sees his own glass as half-empty and everyone else's as close to being full. Whiners, complainers, and naysayers live life between these two extremes while occasionally resorting to the role of victim or steamroller. All negative personality types engage in compensatory behaviors in an effort to feel better about themselves. The steamroller feels superior and powerful as he rolls over his target. The victim is the eternal pessimist who enjoys the attention that others lavish on him as he acts out the role of the injured party. Whiners, complainers, and naysayers all behave in ways that draw attention to themselves and boost their sagging egos.

In either case, if you are the one dealing with a negative individual, you become the object of his counterbalancing behavior. You're either being set up to bear the brunt of his disenchantment with life, or expected to offer copious amounts of sympathy that will inflate his ego. Aside from feeling truly sorry for an individual who is obviously so unhappy in his own skin, there are some definite "dos" and "don'ts" for dealing with his negative behaviors.

THE DON'TS

1. Don't take ownership of a negative person's problems. Being treated unfairly and dealing with disappointments is a part of life. Each of us gets to choose how we deal with the unpleasant aspects of life. Unless you are a negative person's counselor, don't get sucked into his problems.
2. Don't be drawn in to an argument that puts you on the defensive.

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Identifying and dealing with negative people?
We want to hear your view. Write now!