by Casey Hartig

Created on: March 26, 2008

The hardest thing as an adult is to openly admit your humanity. To be able to say, "I did this to myself", no matter the circumstances. There are those among us who will never be capable of it. They will deny and avoid and project blame for the rest of their lives. It's understandable to live that way, because facing the truth is never easy. We live in a fast-paced society of immediate gratification. Easy is our stamp on the world. It's what we want, it's who we've become. Lacking the ability or the responsibility to own up to our poor choices has become the prime choice.

I don't honor class wars - I have great friends on both ends of the financial spectrum. I'm no drama queen, and I hate when friends turn flaky. My biggest hurdle in life is me. Coming to a point where I'm able to acknowledge that is scary. It's like that moment in your life when you suddenly (and finally) come to view your parents as people - not just parents. You know what I'm talking about. You witness your mom burst into tears over a silly commercial, or see your dad get frustrated when he can't steer his boat right onto the trailer. All of a sudden, they loose that sheen of perfection you'd seen them in your entire life. And a lot more things make sense.

Taking that step with yourself is another can of worms. Many, many people are terrified of the concept of change. Making a single decision - or several - that could alter the path of your existence is always intimidating at the least. I call these moments "crossroads moments." They come along and change your world. You're forced with a decision that you know will have huge impact on your future. Do you jump, or do you freeze?

I used to freeze. Luckily for me, I made some incredibly bad decisions. I hate when people say "I made a mistake". Chances are, 99.9% of those "mistakes" were really bad choices. But we won't admit that because it's easier to write off as a mistake. It sounds strange to define my bad decisions as lucky. However, I would not be in the place I am today if it weren't for all the horrible things I've put myself through. We're not talking run-of-the-mill bad choices, like overspending on a credit card or getting in over your head on car payments, or maybe dating the guy who doesn't quite give you what you need. I made the kinds of choices that put me in jail. I would have gone to prison (and met Martha Stewart!) if I hadn't let reality slap me in face. I am grateful for that. I have a whole new definition of luck.

Look, we all know that no one likes a mirror. We don't enjoy seeing the bad in ourselves. But at some point in life, we have to acknowledge it. Otherwise, how will we ever become better? And isn't that the entire purpose of life? To better ourselves to the best of OUR abilities, OUR standards, and what works for US? Change is scary, truth is terrifying, but both are vital to truly accepting who you are and what you've become. And "now" is the ONLY time to do something about that.

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