by Veronica Beaudry

Created on: March 26, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

In the nine years that my husband and I have been together, five of them married, I have learned a lot about relationships and myself.

I was 23 when I met my husband and and had never dated. All I knew about being in a relationship at the time was the example my parents had set for me. Unfortunately, they had a lot of problems. They were not able to resolve their problems and ended up going through a long and very unpleasant divorce. My husband, on the other hand, was raised in a stable home environment. His parents have been married for thirty-eight years and are still going strong. Through my husband and his family I have seen what a relationship is like when the people are right for each other.

My husband is a very quiet and introspective man. Thanks to him, I have learned to look inside myself in a way I never had before. He has allowed me to grow in a way that I couldn't when I lived with my Mom. (It amazes me how different the relationship is between partners as opposed to between parent and child.) By following my husband's example of self- reflection I have learned a lot about myself. The most important lesson I have learned is that I really can be difficult to deal with. It was a much more valuable lesson having learned it by self-reflection than by being told that by my mother. (She didn't use those words but I'm sure that it is something she was trying to get me to understand.)

My husband is also very intelligent and well read. We have been able to have some very interesting discussions that are not just about TV shows and comic books. During our nine years together he has expanded my knowledge in areas like science and politics. He has also helped me to improve my math skills so that I can be a better teacher. While I still get very frustrated with politics and the presidential elections I at least have a better understanding of the subject.

I have also learned to appreciate his desire to save money every month. If not for him, we wouldn't have a really nice nest egg in the bank. I resisted for a long time thinking that it was more important to pay off our credit cards, though I don't think the balance has ever passed $2000. I wanted to work on paying off the cars and the student loans. Now, I really like seeing our savings account balance and I am grateful that my husband insisted on saving.

Thanks to my husband I can also drive a standard transmission vehicle now.

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