Today is one of those times when I want to get my thoughts down in a hurry and share them from the mountaintop.
You see, I've been thinking about love not just eros, but agape and philia. Many know how I lose myself in books. Often books show me a different perspective maybe a situation in my life would look different better/inconsequential/funny when you compare it to what someone else is going through. Maybe they see the same thing in a different way; or an author says something that defines and puts into words a thing you have been trying to explain to the world, or even just one other person.

So, today I was reading and I came across this passage. Now, to set it up Novinha has decided that she is not speaking to Ender, and when he has asked to see her she replied with the message that weeding was more important than seeing him.

"Ender stepped to the unweeded row beside the one Novinha worked on, and began to hoe toward her. They would not meet, but they would pass close to each other. She would notice him or not. She would speak to him, or not. She still loved and needed him. Or not. But, no matter what, at the end of this day he would have weeded in the same field as his wife, and her work would have been more easily done because he was there, and so he would still be her husband, however little she might now want him in that role." Orson Scott Card Children of the Mind

WOW. To me this hit like a ton of bricks. To me this screams love. It is how we should treat those we say that we love. Replace husband/wife with friend or sister or brother or son/daughter. First of all, just because we disagree, it doesn't mean we can't work towards a common goal. Second, my feelings for someone are not required to match their feelings for me. Third, helping another does not require them to even appreciate, much less reciprocate that help. Fourth, acceptance doesn't mean giving up.

So, Work to a common goal. There are all different kinds of work some mental, physical, emotional. In this passage, Ender picked up a hoe. That in and of itself means there is hard work ahead have you ever worked with a hoe? But, he could have avoided the whole situation she didn't ask for his help. He made a choice to work WITH her.

Second, Equality is not required. I remember having debates on the differences between a team and a group. Basically, when you are a team, everyone takes equal responsibility, but a group can have those that do not feel a mutual

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