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Who am I? Who are you? Which mask is right for today? Is it important to be the professional, or should I bring my inner child to work with me this morning? What impression can I make on the world today?

Does this sound familiar? First we choose our personality of the moment, and then we search our closet to find clothes to match. In another breath we are saying to a loved one. "You just don't know me, how could you understand what I am feeling?" Can we blame them for their inability to be more supportive in our lives? We change our minds, our beliefs, our standards and often even our moral values, in an instant to be accepted by our peers. Then we wonder why we feel so alone, unsupported.

In our endeavor for success and notoriety we often lose sight of who we truly are at the core of our being. It is easy to forget the simple pleasures, in light of a big promotion, or the writing of a best-selling novel. We look for the most popular view point and speak the words that we know are agreeable to the listener. We choose the latest styles, even if they are not comfortable clothes, or we feel out of place in the newest hairstyle. We choose our suits, based on office standards, set by someone we don't even know. But perhaps if we fit in, we will meet them at the next office party.

Looking back over the years, is it any wonder that I now look in the mirror and say, "But who am I?" I have been a daughter, a mother, a healer, a teacher and writer. I have let go of my inner child to be a leader, a manager. I have relinquished my spiritual beliefs, to better understand politics. I allowed my creative nature to hide behind an agenda of practical ideas, and logic. I have worn the mask of happiness, and played the part of a fool. Who am I? Why do so few understand who I am?

Finally, as my 50th year approaches, I look in the mirror and see before me, a woman I admire. I am a mother and child. I am wise and I am a fool. I enjoy a good laugh, and see the humor in my failings. I look at the world with love and compassion. I am a healer, and a teacher.

What a journey we are on! There is so much to experience before we can say, "Yes, this is me." Suddenly the clothes fit without searching, the hairstyle speaks of my inner beauty and my words match the feelings in my heart. Occasionally, a mask is chosen, to obscure that part of me that I am not ready to share with the world, but I choose that right to privacy.

There are days of practicality, mixed with the wonder of youth. There are times when I stand too strongly in defense of who I am. There are moments when I am still not always sure of my beliefs. Now I know that I can be wrong, and learn from my mistakes. Now I know that my Spirit stays constant as I shift, allowing me to return to my eternal being, as easily as I strayed from the center of my life. Now I know that I am that I am.

As the question of who am I is answered, so too is the question of who are you. You are a mirror for me, and I for you. We are the experience of life, the joy, the sorrow, the pain. We are love and we are hate. I am just as you are, all of the successes and failures, decisions and indecision, all of the masks, and thoughts, and emotions, so am I. We are the existence of life. At last I am.

Learn more about this author, Julie Melville.
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