Desiring to not Desire
I don't want to feel this.
I don't want to feel this pain,
this separation inside of me,
this emptiness in my head
Make it stop!
Send it to the ends of the world -
I don't want to feel this.
The sound of your voice
comforts me,
I don't want to be comforted.
The touch of your skin
softens me,
I don't want to be softened.
The moisture in your kiss
lingers in my mouth,
makes me feel and
I don't want to feel this.
This breaking of my heart
mended by your love,
that doesn't exist.
The emptiness in my head
filled with your thoughts,
That aren't real.
I don't want to feel this pain -
This pain that exists within me
Is breeding in your thoughts
Growing in your movements
Ravishing your soul
Until there's nothing left.
Ans I can't feel that!
When I don't want to feel this.
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