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I have always been a big fan of Freud and his personality theories. I also, had the opportunity to read several relationship books, e.g. "Are You the One for Me" by Barbara De Angles and "Getting to I do "by Pat Allen and Sandra Harmon. I have always tried to reflect on my inner self. But, Whether exploring the depths of the "Ego" or analyzing the baggage we are carrying with it's potential to translate into toxic relationships, everything comes back to "Self" Some times the truth is so obvious, yet so overlooked. By Stating, "I'm the reason why this relationship is failing", is the first step in taking responsibility for your own actions and for what happens in your life. Not knowing your "Self" and not taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes is why some relationships fail. By making a decision to work on you and heal the issue you see before you, and working in your self, is the first step to overcoming all that ails.

Hind sight is always 20/20. It's easier to make an assertion about a circumstance after it has happened than it is to act in advance to deal with an expected difficulty or problem. Read self help books, talk with people you can trust, seek advice on the matter and when bad feelings and situations arise in your life acknowledge them. Try to get to the root of where the feelings are coming from it may be from childhood or some other event. Only by knowing one's "Self" do you posses the tool to having a lasting and harmonious relationship. By knowing exactly who you are and what you want makes you attract that same quality and aspect in another. Freud talks of the sub-conscious, in knowing the "Self". The sub-conscious mind is so powerful and we have to remember that its ultimate desire is to help us deal with all matters we don't want to deal with. It will bring the matter up again, and again until it is resolved within your self. For a long time, I knew I had animosity and hurt feelings revolving around my relationship with my father. I married a man that is the exact representation of my father. I always thought that in not dealing with that, it would all vanish away by default and it did not. Only by understanding myself and taking responsibility for my own actions did I pave the ground work for a lasting relationship.

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