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She sat there holding his hand as the life seemed to drift away from him. The pain was so unbearable for him that at times he sat straight up and screamed. He seemed calmer when she held his hand and he slept off and on for hours. At one point he looked over at her and in a whisper he said, "When did you get here"

"Just a while ago, Paps" she replied. It was hard to sit there without tears forming in her eyes. He laid there just barely a skeleton of the man that she met 3 years before when she came into Alcoholics Anonymous. He had been there from the start encouraging her when she needed it and yet could be stern with her when she was bordering on relapse. He was a mentor of sorts and when she thought that no one else in the world would understand she would turn to him. He had become the father that she had always lacked and in his wisdom he saw in her something that he had saw in himself the day he decided to quit drinking 20 years before. Perhaps it was the desperation that he saw in her eyes that once matched his, but whatever it was he showed her the true meaning to You can't keep it if you don't give it away. So he did, he showed her what life could be like without alcohol and that there was happiness to be found. Deep in her thoughts she didn't hear him at first, his voice barely audible from the hours that he had screamed in pain before morphine could be given again.

"What's that, Paps?" She asked. He smiled at her, face unshaven as it hurt to touch his skin at times, "My little dreamer," he said, "Where were you this time?" "I was thinking about the first time we met, Paps. You gave me a hug after that meeting and told me that you loved me. I thought you were crazy, I thought you were just saying that to keep me sober. It took me a long time to realize that you love everything and everybody but mostly you love sobriety."

"I do that, babe; sobriety has brought me a lot of joy. More that I ever got from alcohol." He said. They spent the better part of the afternoon when he was conscious talking about sobriety and life. He had things left to teach her before he departed and today might be his only chance and so he talked. He told her that life was wonderful, and that every morning you could wake up and honestly look in the mirror and love yourself it was only to get better. He told her never to stop learning about herself and her life. Accept things as they came along, be grateful for the time you have, and live life to its fullest.

Towards the end of the

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