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G'day. So you're an American who wants to come Down Under and speak slang like an Aussie? My advice is don't even try, because you'll sound like a dill and get ribbed rotten.

Unfortunately, the best way to speak like an Aussie may be just to wait another 10-20 years before you come because the lingo is fast disappearing especially in the cities, and being replaced by American sitcomspeak. It's a long time since I was called a 'sheila' or been invited to a 'bonzer show'. Now, everybody is referred to as 'you guys', and it's a 'cool party'. I'm a 'redhead' now, when I used to be universally called 'bluey' or 'blue'. Nobody has said 'struth', 'you beauty', or 'fair suck of the sav' around me for years, and even 'fair dinkum' is almost gone, except out in 'woop woop' (middle of nowhere).

If you are going to try to understand Australian slang (or speak it and sound like a real galah) you need to understand that Aussies make fun of everything, including ourselves, and we are irreverent, cheeky and tend to shorten everything. Breakfast becomes brekkie, vegetables become veggies, afternoon = arvo, football = footie, and so on.

Rhyming slang still survives, especially among older people, and especially in parts of 'Steak and Kidney' (Sydney). Close friends (especially blokes) tend to say things to each other that if written down would read like insults. 'Gday' you old bastard' is still a relatively common greeting amongst blokes. It's just the way it is.

Now for another thing you should know. I'll break this to you very gently, so sit down and grab a coffee before you read on. All set? No worries. Here's the news - if you make friends and they think you have a sense of humour, they might call you a 'seppo', because this is our favourite word for Americans. It is the shortened form of the rhyming slang for yank: 'septic tank'. Sorry, and please don't blame me. I'm originally a Pom, and have only been here forty years. Like America, Australia is a melting pot, and we have nicknames for every nationality, and you wouldn't want to be left out, surely. As I said, we like to make fun of everything, and everybody, including ourselves, and including you.

Here are a few of the phrases you might find strange. If you are invited to a barbie or meeting, especially in the arvo, you may be asked to 'bring a plate'. You must not just take a plate. You must take a plate of food, such as sandwiches or 'finger food'. If you are at a hotel (pub) with someone, they may say, 'it's my shout', which means they will pay. If they've already paid for one round of drinks you may be told that 'it's your turn to shout'. Don't shout, just buy them a drink.

Some common phrases or words still in wide use are:

G'day: Good day (hello)
Hooroo: Goodbye
Dill, galah, dipstick: Idiot, stupid person
Aerial ping pong: Aussie rules football game (not at all popular with fans of the stupid game)
Banana bender : Queenslander
Crow eater: South Australian
Cranky: Angry
Swimmers, bathers or togs: Swimming or bathing costume
Budgie smugglers: Swimmers for men
The Coathanger: Sydney Harbour bridge
Mozzies: Mosquitoes
Blowies: Blowflies (big flies that buzz around and lay maggots)
Chook: Chicken
Wog: Virus (as in 'I've caught a wog')
Crook: Sick (as in 'I'm crook with a wog')
Booze bus: Police random breath testing van for catching drink drivers
Rego: Car registration
Tall poppies: Successful people
Battlers: People struggling to make a living
Stickybeaks: Nosy people

Finally, be aware that slang varies around the country, and common terms in one place are not common in another. If you don't want to sound like a dipstick, don't try to use slang like an Aussie, just be yourself.

Learn more about this author, Lin Edwards.
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