by E.M.Robinson

Created on: March 22, 2008

Build your child's self-esteem by helping them find their unique abilities and by spending your valuable time with them. They, in turn, will feel valuable and this will respond to your encouragement which will nurture and develop their self-esteem.

Raising children with high self-esteem is a matter of taking time to get to know your children and to show them you are there to spend time with them and to make sure they have what they need. When you spend time with them, you can help them discover their unique talents and abilities. Time with you, being encouraged and valued, will give them the personal strength to continue to develop traits in themselves that will enable them to be proud and confident.

Here are some tips to nurture your child's self-esteem and build it constructively and lovingly:

1)Tell them you enjoy their company -
Make eye contact, smile, and try to relate to your child as an individual and not as an extension of yourself. Show him or her through your actions that time with them is time well spent. Did you have fun? Tell your child. Are you happy you chose this activity with your child over something else you could have been doing. Let your child know how you are glad you didn't miss this time together

2)Schedule Time for them to be with you when you are at your best-
Give your children the gift of knowing you.Schedule time to be with your child. When you give them the best of you, you will be in shape to help them discover their unique talents and abilities. Your child may blossom in your company, demonstrating unique and valuable abilities. What an amazing experience it can be to be present as your child discovers his or her special talent or ability.

If you have more than one child, find ways to have one-on-one time with each of your children individually. You will get information that you would never get otherwise.

3)Build your child's self-esteem by being supportive of him or her. Being supportive means:
a)trying to listen without making an immediate response.
b) being careful of how you sound so that you do not come off sounding judgmental.
c) asking specific questions based on what you do know about their lives rather than asking vague, general questions.
d) trying to relate to what they are saying without turning it into a lecture of how it was when you were that age.
e) being careful about your facial expressions and body language so that the nonverbal messages you send are not contrary to how you want to be.

Your children want to feel valued and this is a way to show them they are important to you.

4)Remember, though, that because you value your child and your child is important to you, be sure to step up to your calling as a parent when it is time for discipline. It isn't easy sometimes, but, because you care, you may have to take a firm stand on establishing expectations.

Make the most of this time with your child and don't let too much time go by before you spend time with them again. Take time to get to know your children and, in turn, provide the means for them to get to know you as well.It is one of the most important things you can do for each other.

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