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Nobody goes through life unscathed. We all have scars of one kind or another, things that stress us out, that trigger bad memories and leave us searching for relaxation techniques. If you are stressed, experiencing emotions or fears from a trauma that has occurred in you r life, there are a multitude of tools available to you that will assist you in relaxing.

A few years ago I was violently raped and the aftermath of that raped had bitterly shaken the very core of my existence. Battling the scars of sexual trauma is a very challenging and difficult process, but one that can be victorious.

After the rape it was as if my life had been ripped away, nothing more than a sheet of paper torn from a notepad. I couldn't eat, or sleep; I didn't think much of myself. I told myself every day that I was defective, damaged goods now. I felt like a shadow somebody forgot.

After the rape I was followed by incessant nightmares and a tumult of emotions. During the rape I was paralyzed with fear, unable to cry out for help. I couldn't fight back. Now the nightmares that haunted me afterward were much of the same. The rape kept happening over and over again in my dreams. I couldn't push my scared feelings aside, even when awake.
Journaling

I look back and try to recall what helped me get through the fear; writing keeping a journal helped some. For each person, writing about the thoughts and emotions that shape you, move through you, makes you different from anyone else. Only you can express that voice which is you. For me putting my heart on paper was relaxing, the emotions that I was feeling just poured out.

I wrote for healing, it was just me and the paper, and the paper didn't judge me or talk back. I didn't try to write perfectly; I didn't edit or even read what I was scratching out with my pen, I just wrote. Once I started, there were many times that I couldn't keep up with the thoughts inside my head; the words just kept coming out.

An excerpt from my journal:

Today has been awful, tomorrow will be terrible. God how do I wake up in the morning and face that? I won't be able to sleep at all.

I'm trying to hold on, but my emotions are wearing me down. I'm trying so very hard not to let the emotions from that horror of a moment send me running from life.
I hate this, the agonizing struggle for courage, the wrenching prayers for strength, the desperate groping for faith enough to survive the emotions. When does it all end? I've been through enough, haven't I?

I've been fighting

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