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Should your child ever come to you, telling you that they have just been
abused, first and foremost, you must believe them. Even if at first, you
may initially disbelieve what you have just heard (possibly out of shock),
it's imperative that you show them in your eyes and by your actions, that
you are not doubting their story. They have just taken a very big step

in courage and trust by revealing this to you. So many abusers will have
already threatened to harm them further should they tell, so when a child
steps forward with this information, they are most likely doing it out of
desperation and fear. They need to know that they can count on you for
their protection and support, and that you will not shun or think any less
of them. They need to know that they will not be blamed for this atrocity,
that they had no control over.

Child abuse is such a devastating thing to go through. Children have so
little control over what adults can do to them. They are no match for the
strength, nor the manipulation of an adult. They are all too trusting of the
adults around them. It's a natural mechanism in a child, as from day one,
they need the care and nurturing of the adults in their lives in order to
survive. They naturally believe that they are there TO protect and care for
them, as children are not equipped to raise themselves. When an adult uses
this trust to their own devious advantage, it turns the child's safe world
totally upside down and inside out.

Secondly, if the child will allow it, you need to give them a hug. This
lets them know that they are still loved and cared for. They need to know
that they are still worthy of your love. What just happened to them was by
no means their fault. They also may need to relearn the difference between a
good touch and a bad one. A hug may ensure them that they are not tainted,
and that your love for them will always be unconditional.

Now, it's time to sit down with them and really get to the root of what
happened. You, as the parent (or guardian) must do your best to remain calm
and let the child tell the story in their own words, at their own pace. Of
course you will have to ask them a few questions, as calmly as possible, such
as "who did this to them?", "what exactly did the person do?", "where and when
it was done?", but do not rush them through the story. It might be hard,
wanting to know all the details so that you can take the next action in
resolving the matter, but it's important for the child to be calm as well, so
that they are not forgetting the

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