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Well it must be Tuesday. How do I know? Because I have my cowboy hat and cowboy boots on. Yeah tonight its karaoke in a country bar. I've been practicing my country songs for a couple of hours on my home karaoke machine. know what day it is by which karaoke bar I'm going to. There is somewhere to go every night. It's a circuit and you get to know the players, the regulars.

I also know that I need to dress to fit the atmosphere of the place. I get in character. Some days its Hank Jr, other days its Kid Rock, I'll even go Neil Diamond now and then. You've got to fit in and you've got to know your crowd. Every place has a different audience and they want to hear what they want to hear. You also have to be in tune with the changing audience. As the night goes on and things get wilder, their taste will change. You can sense when its the right time for the gag song. Yeah its time for me to sing "Its Raining Men"

I have all my songs picked out before hand. I have laminated index cards with song titles and catalog numbers. That's not easy because each KJ has a different catalog with different numbers. So I have to know which cards to use. I may have the same song on four different cards because the catalog numbers are different. I have to put on the card which KJ this card is for. I also have to keep track of where each KJ is working and on what night.

You need to get there early. You've got to be in the front of the rotation. That way you are sure you'll get to sing your signature song before some "amateur" comes along and steals it out from under you. They want to hear you sing and they want to hear that song. You can't disappoint your fans, they depend on you for happiness and entertainment. Its a lot of pressure, but you bear it with pride.

Yeah its "American Idol" out there every night. There are winners and losers. Some go home, tails tucked, never to be seen again. The serious, the ones who truly worship the karaoke god, have to learn to tolerate the alcohol-fueled. Some sober up and can't believe what they've done, others don't care. They're sometimes funny, but to disrespect the spirit of karaoke is to ask for certain misfortune in one's life. You have to stay on the path and it is a difficult one.

So I have to go now. Let's see yeah tonight I must drive my pickup truck, can't park the BMW in front of this place. It would blow the entire image. Hey if you're gonna play you gotta go all the way.

Learn more about this author, Ric Hylton.
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