by Mary1440

Created on: March 20, 2008

Problems! We all have them no matter what our station in life, no matter our age, or gender. Like death and taxes, problems are constantly either here with us now, or just around the corner.

My husband has such a simplistic view of life. Whereas I will get myself into such an emotional state over problems that I become very ineffective as far as making a rational decision is concerned or how to proceed.

On comes my very realistic husband. Men deal in facts, not emotions. His recipe for problem solving is very simple and it goes like this.

He'll say, "Mary, get out a sheet of paper, divide it into two columns and at the top of one column write "Pros" and on the other, write "Cons". If your problem is one that requires other headings such as, "things standing in my way" and "possible solutions" that's fine too. Label the columns in whatever way that fits your particular issue.

The act of writing things down automatically begins the process of acquiring clarity. It's down in black and white where we can see it. The length of the two columns right off will give us a clue as to where the best answer lies for us.
Think of the possibilities. Let's say, your problem is: "How can we get ourselves out of debt?" Here is what I suggest you consider.

Problems:
Possible Solutions:

1.Need more money 1.Mom could get a job
2.Will NOT put children in childcare 2.Mom could find work to do at home
(internet work ,childcare)
3.Move back in with folks, save, pay debts 3.Conflicts.not a good idea
4.Need less going out per month 4.Need to document all we spend,get better idea of
where money is going.
5.Talk to credit counselor/Consolidate

Simplistic? Yes. Does it work? Yes, it does. No matter what the problem is, be it an emotional issue, issues of the heart, whatever. There are "two sides to every story" , and solutions to them as well.

It really helps to get it down on paper, stand back from the problem a bit, and try to see the bigger picture. Before you know it, you will see the solutions clearly. Try it. I know it'll work for you as it has for us over the years.

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