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ship. The aliens took off his clothes, sponged a strange goo all over him, took a blood sample, and left him to engage in intercourse with an alien, but human-like, woman. His partner had white-blond hair, slanted eyes, and a pointed chin. She indicated by pointing at her belly, and then at the sky, that their child would be born far away.

Cases like these were echoed again and again in following years by men and women alike, in which the sex was sometimes voluntary, sometimes involuntary. The beings aren't always human-like, either: in some reports, the aliens look more like chewbacca, or like giant lizards.

The Bermuda Triangle

Drawn most often between the three corners of Miami, Puerto Rico, and Bermuda, the Bermuda Triangle is popularly known as the location of frequent violations of physics, as well as aircraft and ship disappearances, in strikingly high numbers. Since UFO sightings have also been reported in the area, UFOs are commonly blamed for such atypical events.

In 1495, Chris Columbus was the first to report strange activity - he and his crew witnessed "dancing lights" on the horizon, which may have actually been native campfires. Since then, ships and airplanes have reported strange lights and compass malfunctions (in which the needle spun), before finally losing contact with the shore, their radios cut off. Most vessels were never seen again.

Hurricanes, natural magnetic anomalies, rising methane deposits, and freakishly large waves have been cited by investigators, as well as possible piracy and deliberate destruction. Even the confirmation bias, the tendency we have to accept only those facts which confirm a pattern (and not those which disconfirm it) can be blamed for the apparently anomalous Bermuda Triangle disappearance frequency. Still, few members of the common citizenry would be completely unnerved when taking a cruise through Bermuda Triangle waters.

The Weekly World News

Considered the psychotic pathological liar of the news industry, this tabloid caters to the paranoid and dangerously open minded. It is a parent to many of the strangest and most unbelievable UFO stories ever made up and posited as news. The stories are often printed with accompanying poorly-faked photographs.

According to the Weekly World News, Hillary Clinton has recently adopted a cute little alien baby; researchers have translated an alien bible; and alien telemarketers bother human folk on a regular basis.

Reptilian Humanoids

The Reptilian Humanoid conspiracy is one to trump them all: according to a handful of theorists, green, human-shaped reptiles from the Alpha Draconis star system are everywhere, running our entertainment industries, our governments, and our local fast-food joints. Some of them are even married to humans - but no humans know about it, aside from a select few. Why can't we see them? Because our brains, functioning like radios, have been tuned into an alternate, and inaccurate, "reality" by the aliens, in order to stay hidden. That, or the aliens can shape-shift. The details are fuzzy.

So then, how do the theorists know they're there, if they can't even trust any of their own senses? How can they claim to know anything at all? Some say they've had dreams. Some say they've been abducted and spoken to by the reptiles, who for some reason showed their true form. Some found the reptiles in spirit-worlds. At this point, the whole thing gets rather insane and new-agey. For more information, read the writings of David Icke and John Rhodes.

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