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Looking back on childhood and missing it is a concept that only makes me think of all the responsibility that I have now. That life was just a dream.

To think of a wonderful time in my life when dad was dad and mom was mom...That was it. They where our parents and us kids where just kids.
They completely provided all my needs. They even told me I was beautiful when the other kids at school ridiculed me. They had all the concerns of adulthood on them. They protected me from the dangers of the world as best they could. I even had a blessing (not knowing it then) of parents that stuck together though think and thin. When their marriage came to an argument or hard times they just did what they knew was right and worked through the circumstance.

I have a picture of me the day I was learning to ride a new big bike. We lived at my moms mom and dads farm (my grandparents) because my parents where not financially stable. My aunt Alice was six years older than me. She was in the picture. Her brother (my uncle) was in the picture. He had his kids there visiting that day and my favorite cousin was in the picture with her younger brother. My youngest brother standing in the superman position was also in the picture. I had scraped my knee falling off once and that day I literally rode that bike all day. I remember a nice spring day and I was dressed in my favorite poncho. That day there was nothing in the world that was wrong or could go wrong.

Oh God, I cry out now how I miss my childhood. I wrote earlier that that life was just a dream. The circumstances of today scream out for all my attention. The movies of time travel have kept my interest and hope that change can be possible. I have my grandson here with me while his White mom and Black father struggle with their circumstances.

Then as I look at that wonderful picture I sit calmly (very calmly) and remind myself that all is well. All is well. I still have good times and back then I had bad times. All is well today. I have the ability to do the task that is in front of me (Just like learning to ride that bike) I have the time to get it done. I have the tools I need and the opportunity. Above all I have the help I need. My joy is not dependent upon my circumstances. My joy comes from the dependence I put in all the help through those circumstances. God is God and I am His child whom He cares for and who provides all the help I have ever needed. (there is a scripture I relate to here Psalms 121: "Where does my help come from? My help come from the Lord maker of heaven and earth.")

Meddling just a bit here, but are you hoping that a change in circumstances will bring a change in your attitude? How would you fill in this blank: I will be happy when__________. When I am healed. When all the bills are paid off or I become rich. When I am married or when I am single. I will be happy if I could just go back in time and change this or that.

I am Thankful today that my parents stuck together and was able to teach me that good things are worked out. I am thankful today that I learned to ride a bike and even thankful that in doing that the pain and soreness I had wasn't bigger than my attitude. I am very thankful I have the help I need. And so do You.

Learn more about this author, Debbie Hutchko.
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