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When our child behaves in a way unacceptable to us and we want to set it right in the most appropriate way to make him/ her learn and behave, is smacking one of the acceptable ways? It is the question before us.

There is an ancient, oft-quoted formula available in Hindu philosophy which is actually meant for kings/ administrators. When a king/ administrator comes across confrontational behavior from his subjects, how should he react? The suggestion is known as "sama-dhana-bedha-dhanda" in Sanskrit language. Each word denotes an approach; they have to be practiced in the given order.

The same formula can be rightly and successfully applied on the erring children too.

Now let us understand what these words denote:

"SAMA": It means a patient and soft advice, which is the first step. Explain to the child softly as to what is wrong in his behavior and why you can't accept it.

"DHANA": It means a gift. When the child refuses to heed to the soft advice, bait him with an offer of gift. While you are shopping in a mall, you child gets attracted by a very costly toy and he/ she throws tantrums demanding you to procure the item. When your soft counseling fails, you make an offer to buy him/ her a (cheaper but a) cute looking T-shirt containing a Micky-mouse picture at the front. Some children do amicably settle for the alternative.

"BEDHA" : it means, "OR ELSE"; simply put, threatening. This is the third step when the previous ones fail. "You keep standing and crying here; the rest of us will leave you here all alone and go home; You can keep playing with all the toys; At night, the shop owner will come and hand you over to the police!"

"DHANDA": It means, the quintessential "Rod". You know it already: "Spare the rod and spoil the child". Yes! IT IS THE LAST RESORT - when every one of the previous steps fails.

For the most obnoxious child, the rod does help.

Children start developing stubbornness and the art of throwing up tantrums in a willful manner some time above two and a half years of age. Even below this age, they do it, but not too willfully - it has its charm of its own and the parents do get some amusement out of it. At that tender age, it is quite entertaining and even joyful to see children indulging in such acts. It is also much easier to divert the child's mind from such a behavior.

But once the children start doing it in a willful manner, their intention is to test waters - to gage as to what extent they can negotiate and maneuver their ways with their parents. Each

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