I knew this Thanksgiving would be difficult. Mom had died the week before the holiday and we were all taking her death very hard. I was having the holiday at my house and I especially wanted to help dad with his pain and, selfishly, I needed him to help with my own heartache.

Dad was a very difficult man to please, but I kept trying anyway. He did enjoy the company of my brother-in-law ,Werner and his wife Linda. They were a lot of fun and were always on the guest list. Roland was coming up from Delaware with his son Andrew, so the guest list was all set.

Now there was a menu to reckon with. I decided to have it catered by a local caterer who specializes in turkey. Dad said he doesn't eat turkey because it gave him the gout. He didn't eat fried chicken, so I ordered roasted chicken. I ordered additional in case other guests wanted some of the chicken too. The caterer had everything - baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, an appetizer of crudities with dip and even an apple pie and cookies (mom would have loved them - she was always looking for cookies) for dessert.Dad especially liked pumpkin pie, so I bought a frozen one and baked it for him.

I wasn't up to decorating, but some friends sent a holiday centerpiece which was just beautiful on the table. Linda brought fruits and nuts and beautiful napkins. The table would be respectful, but festive.

My husband, Fred made arrangements with dad to pick him up for the holiday.Dad didn't like to drive at night anymore. Fred and I checked up on dad that week. We bought him groceries and also bought some home made soups from a local butcher at the suggestion of the social worker who came to mom's wake. Dad enjoyed those soups and ate them up in two days. Fred and I discussed putting an extension on the house so that dad could move in with us. He lived in Queens and we were on Long Island - a half hour drive with no traffic. His health was very poor and his heart was broken..

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, dad called me and said he wasn't up to coming over for the holiday. He said he just wanted to be with my mother. So, I gave him the old silent treatment,
to which he responded, "I know you don't want to hear this babe, but I just want to be with your mother". I told him to see how he felt in the morning before he made a decision. If he still didn't feel like coming , he would call me and I would understand. I figured some of us could bring him something to eat, visit a little , then leave. Dad told me he loved me and that was the last time I spoke to him.

On Thanksgiving Day, I kept calling his house. I had a neighbor knock on a door that was never answered, but I knew...I gave Linda and Roland directions for heating up dinner and sadly took my keys for his house.We found him face down on the floor of their bedroom. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen. He was finally with her hopefully enjoying their first Thanksgiving together in heaven.

Learn more about this author, Mary Ann Neber.
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