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I once heard it said, "Live so that your memories will be part of your happiness." As my time at Cal Poly drew to a close this month I began to take this saying to heart. I have some great memories from college, but I really wanted to go out with a bang. So, during finals week I decided to do something bold and make a memory for myself.
My final exams were late in the week, on Thursday. That means that Wednesday would definitely be a "study" day. But Monday and Tuesday were fairly idle. Let the reader make a note; a mischievous college graduate and idleness can be a very dangerous combination. In this state of temporary relaxation, my thoughts turned toward other students who were studying hard for exams...some were even taking exams while I lounged on the couch or casually picked my nose. Then the idea occurred to me, why not join them, just for the heck of it? Why not attend some random final? I doubt there's any rule against it. Who would want to attend an exam if they didn't have to? The answer, of course, is a soon-to-be college grad who loves being a jokester.

My search through the Schedule of Classes yielded an Anthropology class with a final on Tuesday morning. This class, Anthropology 344: "Sex, Death, and Human Nature," seemed to be just asking for some wisecrack test answers from yours truly. So, being the pioneer that I am, I drove to campus to take the exam. One small step for college seniors, one giant leap for idle clowns everywhere.
My preliminary research revealed that 39 students were enrolled in the class, and that the assigned classroom seated 40. Fantastic! Now to test my blending abilities. I entered the classroom with the hood of my sweatshirt strategically in place so as to avoid observation by the teacher. I took a seat in the back near the exit, just in case. The teacher walked around the room handing out the exam, but he made my heart jump when he came to me. He said in an admonishing tone, "Excuse me.......but you'll have to lose the hoodie." Oh good, he didn't recognize me. I promptly obliged him, but still tried to avoid sustained eye contact.
I looked at the test. The front page was an essay type question, and the rest consisted of about 85 multiple-choice questions. The long answer question read something like this: "Define reproductive value. Also, discuss how it relates to a mother's age. In addition, address any relationship with the rate of infanticide." I put my thinking cap on and began to write.

"Well, when a baby is born

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